Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Who is this Mysterious Swiss Dude?

Ever since my G swore in as PCVs in December, there has been a man from Switzerland staying at the hotel we always stay in.  It's become very apparent that he's living at the hotel now, because 5 months later, he's still there every morning eating breakfast in the common room and watching Animal Planet.  He's obsessed with Animal Planet...

So anyways, yesterday I was sitting at my table eating breakfast alone with not much to do so I started to speculate what this guy's story was.  This is what I came up with.

1. He murdered someone in Switzerland, and now he's hiding out in Paraguay because no one knows anything about Paraguay and living is cheap.

2. He's an eco-terrorist, which is why he's always watching Animal Planet... he's looking for ideas.

3. He's stole from one of those super-secure Swiss banks that do what they want regardless of the law.  Either that, or he was an accountant for the Russian Mob and he embezzled from them and he's on the run.

4. He recently got divorced, and his ex-wife is a monster.  Paraguay is a good place to go if you don't want people to follow, hahaha.

My friend Elijah chimed in with these ideas:

5. He's trying to set up an invitro insemination import business using swill bulls to improve Paraguayan milk production, but because he doesn't speak Spanish or Guarani, his sales pitch gets terribly misinterpreted and he's still looking for a backer.

6. He's a watch maker who has fallen on hard times with the cell phone becoming the new global time piece.

Whatever this man's story is, I find him super-interesting.  I don't want to know the truth, though, because if his story turns out to be boring I'd just be really disappointed.  People are a lot more interesting when you make up their dramatic life stories in your own head.  Maybe, if he's still here when we COS in December 2013, I will ask him what his deal is.  But I don't know, I don't want the mystery to be taken away.

In conclusion, I apologize for blowing your cover, man.  While I secretly hope these speculations are true, I don't want anyone hunting you down/bringing you to justice/whatever.  I don't want that on my conscience.

So... not much actual content in this post.  Sorry about that.  I have a Permaculture workshop coming up next week, so hopefully I'll have more relavent subjects to talk about in my next post.

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